Your title of mom is HUGE!! That beautiful title has afforded you many magical moments with your kids that will forever be cherished! And you get to continue to create and experience magical moments with them as they age.
Getting a secondary title does nothing to impact your title of mom. Nor does it change your identity.
I can relate.
I love being a mom! But I have other titles as well! And even as my titles change and my kids age, my favorite title is still mom!
The entrance question to my facebook group is actually how their kids call them mom” mom, momma, mammy, mommy, etc. It’s a fascinating question as it reminds us all that no matter what name we go by or what other titles we have, we are all blessed to share this incredible experience of being a mom!!
If you’ve ever pushed the accelerator in your parked car, you know that the fuel being burned is wasted. The car isn’t going to go anywhere in park.
And yet, we often go around in our lives “stuck”.
That’s because we’re trying to drive a parked car. And until you know how to take the CORRECT action to get out of stuck and get the car into DRIVE, you’ll continue to burn fuel in wasted effort.
When we are stuck, our creative channels are locked shut and the simplest, seemingly most insignificant nuggets of information are hidden from view. Given enough time, we’ll drain our tanks and feel heavy, exhausted, and hopeless.
Cemented, plastered, and paralyzed.
I have been there. And I can help.
In my story, I kept filling the gas tank by investing time, money, and energy into my career, but that parked car just wouldn’t go.
I no longer visited “stuck”; I lived in “stuck”!
My optimism was drained and replaced with cynicism. I multi-tasked, worked longer and harder. I tried everything, except for putting that car into drive. And after time, my relationships and even my health suffered.
And then I received assistance in finding the hidden nuggets.
You see. There are only four components to reach any goal!! (1) Fuel – invest money, time, and passion (2) Vehicle – job, business, endeavor (3) Destination – the experience or goal driving the quest (4) Action – You have to put the vehicle in DRIVE!
I was “stuck” because I hadn’t taken the appropriate action.
I had turned the steering wheel, adjusted the seat, pushed the peddles, moved the mirrors, cleaned the console, revved the engine, and topped off the fuel, but I had not put the car in to DRIVE!!
I had taken lots of actions. – But I hadn’t taken the correct action!!
Whether your experience with being “stuck” is holding on to the wheel steering away from a train wreck like I was, or just patiently waiting for help to arrive, being stuck in the driver’s seat of a parked car is no fun!!
Realizing you’re stuck is critical, and the next step is realizing that taking the same actions will get you the same results, and giving yourself permission to stop analyzing and each day doing a single new action.
At work, this may mean buying a smoothie for a disgruntled co-worker and online this may mean putting a positive spin on just one post. For me, it meant being more visible. It required becoming empowered.
Wherever your path takes you, I wish you a fabulous “unstuck” adventure!
And if I can help, join me on Facebook, @beatificwellnessdotcom.
Swallowing the irritation, sadness, or grief from the occassional stressors can cause indigestion, but frequent attempts really does have PHYSICAL ramifications.
So let’s begin with the purpose of feelings. Feelings are emotions triggered by our brain based on our thoughts. Our thoughts, even though none of us like this truth, are actually ONLY our interpretation or our perspective of reality.
How we perceive the world causes thoughts, and those thoughts create feelings and emotions. And, as the ENERGY in MOTION that they are, emotions take a specific route through our body, and when un-obstructed, leave.
BUT… if we fight the emotion or feeling, and PREVENT these energies from leaving, we create internal conflict. This internal stress can trigger a fight or flight response. (Think anxiety.)
Now, let me ask you… What good is it going to do to run, hide, or fight from an INTERNAL stressor.
NONE what so ever!!!
And yet, many of us put our bodies into this state daily … Often, without realizing!!
The popular antidote from feeling (at inopertune times, during busy schedules, or at all) is the ability to mute our thoughts. By putting our thoughts on “mute”, we have enabled part of this situation.
But, as Marie Forleo would say, everything is figureoutable.
We can remedy this just by taking notice of our thoughts!
We can stop feeling emotions associated witb childhood triggers (that we didn’t realize we had), by listening to our thoughts and holding ourselves accountable for those thoughts!
But that is only part of the solution.
Even if we know our thoughts and can justify our emotional responses to our perspective of reality, if we buffer away or stuff our feelings into a black box in our stomach, we havn’t accomplished anything!
Emotions must be allowed to dissipate!! That means “feeling” those feelings, and in a world primed on composure and tight schedules, this requires TIME!
Emotions are eloquently named since they are indeed energies “in motion”. And, when uninhibited, will disipate on their own!
And since you can’t pretend to be alright when you desperately need to “feel” those feelings, it’s best to realize you’re human and that feeling those feelings and allowing that energy to dissipate is worth taking a break!
Take a break to be human!
Taking a “human” break is necessary for your emotional and mental health, and is, come to discover, just as vital for your physical wellness!!
When life seems crummy, WASH IT OFF! Wash off the critism, the unfinished to do lists, the unachieved goals, the snarky comments, the foul food, the dirty dishes, and any other stressors that are icky and gross in your gut!! … Because harbouring stress is no different than harbouring icky slime in your gut!!
So, two steps!
STEP ONE, best done on paper: write it all out! The work situation, the home situation, the commute situation, the family situation, the kid situation, the food situation… You get the point. Write it all out. Your dog ate the couch, your car has issues, your favorite football team didn’t win… Whatever it is, write it down. Even the ones that may seem trivial or pathetic. And then write down the other stressors, because you know there’s more in there! And now think about your to do list or taxes or politics, or anything else that stresses you out, and write those down too. Your list may be massive, and that’s okay. 😱Realize that those things have been twirling around in your brain, many of them in the background, and telling your body to be on the lookout. Something bad is coming… Something really bad is coming…😱
And, if its been a while since you supervised your thoughts, your brain has been sending those signals throughout your body, so your whole body has been on high alert, and since our bodies are amazing and resilient, they know to pull the energy from the less key areas to support the more urgent needs and they’ve been pulling energy, preparing for whatever the bad thing is that the brain said was coming!
Has it been a day, a week, a month, a few months, a year?? Your brain said its coming, but it didn’t come. And we survived running on fewer cylinders because our bodies are amazing and resilient, but imagine the functionality and energy, vibrancy, and vitality you’ll enjoy when your body isn’t preparing for D-DAY!! Or perhaps your “norm” is stressed. If so, let’s fix it. It will manifest into symptoms and ailments!
So, with your list in hand, STEP TWO: separate the “can fix” from the “cannot fix”. You can mark out the “cannot fix” items so they are illegible or (preferred) write them on a separate paper and either burn the paper or rip it to shreds. There is no reason to fret over things that are outside of you that you can not fix.
Important note: you can not control other people. You may want to, but those are not “can fix” items.
And the “can fix” that you can fix soon, put those on a sticky note and put the sticky note on your cell phone or on the bathroom mirror, or set yourself an electronic reminder for soon (today or tomorrow). Limit yourself to five or six items that can be done soon! — So the most important ones that will make you happy or feel like a weight has been lifted, PICK THOSE!! Now, everything else that is a “can fix” but are earmarked for a later time and didn’t make your top five (or six), highlight them in yellow or green, and either put them on the calendar (preferred) for next week, next month, or “sometime this century”, OR simply put the list away and be ready to retrieve it when your five items are done. Either way, know that those items are safe on the paper, and you DO NOT need that garbage in your brain, or in your gut!!
This activity of washing off your mind is best done frequently, because we all know how easily our minds can run away, or get lost in a rabbit hole. 😂
I LOVE helping people through this process of cleansing and then re-organizing their minds! Let me help!!!
We know that our bodies are complex electromagnetic vessels where every part from our foot to our head are interconnected, so following that same tract, it doesn’t surprise us to hear that there is a relationship between the microbes in our gut, brain, and mouth. Even more interesting, and perhaps startling if you suffer from this, is that bleeding gums are a possible passageway by which the nasty germs of our mouth leak into and proliferate within our arteries, heart, and brain. In fact, these bad-breath causing germs can do far more than cause bad breath; they have been linked to arterial, heart, lung, brain, and blood sugar issues.
So how do we keep our mouths clean?
Well, fluorinated toothpaste is not the answer.
The Ayurvedic approach to clean mouths is three part:
(1) Brush your tongue with a tongue cleaner first thing in the morning.
(2) Brush your teeth with a clean toothpaste.
(3) Oil pulling by swishing coconut oil until it become sudsy inside your mouth. This takes time and also works as a mouth exercise which is incredibly beneficial when learning a new language.
Before ingesting anything in the morning, drinking water helps to hydrate and wake up your organs.
As far as herbs, neem is a wonderful seed that is often still offered following an indian meal. Known to promote good mouth and dental health, neem may be a supplement or chew that interests you.
With 15 to 724 trillion microbes calling our bodies “home”, many of which are or may eventually prove to be beneficial, sanitizing the world through mass annihilation of all germs is not only ineffective, it is dangerous.
The Era of Sanitizers
If you are in favor of sanitizing the external world, I understand. In fact, I used to lather on the hand sanitizer and wipe every surface down with the yellow tubs of bacteria-killing wipes, especially as a new mom, but that was the old me. The new me understands that we are only seeing part of the iceberg of alarming issues that this era of anti-biotics, anti-bacterial soaps, and sanitizers has and is creating in our internal and external ecosystems.
We don’t need any more super-bugs or mutant viruses to understand that we are teaching the bad bugs what they need to do to survive, and they’re listening!
So before you use that hand sanitizer, know that you are massacring all of the good and bad, internal and external bugs, and teaching the bad bugs how to proliferate more effectively. And that the impact isn’t only limited to your body, or your community. The effect is widespread.
Provided the correct resources and environments, our bodies are masterful and capable of protecting us, unless we continue to stimulate the bad bugs, making them stronger. By aiding our bodies in performing a task that it has been perfecting for thousands of years, neutralizing and digesting bad bugs, we can keep our internal microbiome happy and thriving so that we can enjoy Blissfully Happy (Beatific) Wellness.
With 90% of our ecosystem being microbial, it shouldn’t surprise any of us that, as the human hosts, we feel it when that 90% is not functioning well.
To help keep that internal ecosystem happy and thriving, stay hydrated.
As I write this, I am envisioning my daughter’s eyes rolling, so as I giggle, please know that we need water. And not the water that is mixed with grounds in the production of coffee or the water that is in the ingredient list of your favorite drink. Real water.
To put it simply, when our bodies are improperly hydrated, there is not an adequate amount of free moisture to flush out every microbial self-appointed czar that infiltrates our open borders (i.e. mouth, eyes, nose, and skin membranes) and to maintain the lubrication of all of our systems. Our entire digestive tract is coated with mucus membranes, and these need moisture to properly function. Without hydration, that czar-want-to-be can wreak havoc and effectively disrupt our internal systems very quickly.
So, hydrate yourself with small quantities of warm or room-temperature water frequently throughout the day.
Especially beneficial in lubricating your digestion (without dampening agni, your digestive fire) drink a large glass of water 30 minutes before a meal, but not any closer to the meal time.
A similar activity that promotes hydration from the outside-in is hydrating the skin. While helping to calm vata, promote relaxation, aide in the skin’s immune function, and support the production of neurotransmitters, applying oils to your skin lubricates your skin, and when mixed with herbs are received into your skin rather than just staying on the surface. – This approach is similar to dental oil-pulling accomplished by swishing coconut oil in your mouth.
If you suffer from any symptoms or ailments, please understand that your body is trying to communicate an issue. You’re not broken and your body does not hate you. It is simply trying to talk to you, so start listening.
The sooner we listen, the easier the issues may be to resolve. And since our gut, or more specifically our small intestine, is the window to the rest of our internal ecosystem and is where a large part of the microbes that call us home live, we know that disturbances in the small intestine can cause a domino effect throughout our bodies.
Mastering digestion (both of food and of life) is often the lowest hanging fruit and can be a great place to start when trying to solve (not mask!) the problem.
Here, we focus on internal digestion.
Four Considerations when Optimizing Digestion.
If you’re looking for a magic pill and that one-size-fits-all approach, you probably already know that that’s not what I do, but I can say that many of my clients have seen positive change just from incorporating fennel, coriander, ginger, cumin, and cardamom into their menus and taking good, colonizing probiotics, but it is also critical to “gently” eradicate the bag bugs, and this requires extra caution, especially for those with SIBO, a fungal overgrowth such as candida, or with food allergies and food sensitivities.
There are multiple beneficial “gut kits” that I have had positive experiences with that effectively and gently eradicate the bad bugs (#NoAffiliations), and when paired with colonizing probiotics that populate the small intestine with good and diverse flora.
Whether you’re looking for a herbal-kit to optimize digestion or you prefer the DIY approach, these important rules of thumb should be considered when rebooting your “second brain”:
First, gentler is better. The lining of your small intestine plays a critical role, and harsh, though effective treatments such as spicy herbs (or even high potency non-spicy herbs), essential oils, or pharmaceuticals can cause harm even though they may be performing the desired function.
Second, stress leads to oxidation or “internal rusting” so if we are constantly poisoning the system with rust, and not alleviating the stress, none of our changes will lead to long-term success.
Third, there is something to say about nutrition. Now, I am not a nutritionist, but I do know that the literature proves time and time again that processed foods are not promote a healthy and vibrant microbiome, so keep this in mind.
Fourth, knowing your body is everything! For example, vata-imbalanced people do not do well with raw foods, so cutting out the salad and lightly cooking their veggies serves them very well.
Our internal ecosystem is 90% microbial, so it shouldn’t surprise any of us that when that 90% is not running on all of its 15 to 724 trillion cylinders, as the human hosts, we feel it.
To help keep that internal (yet foreign) ecosystem happy and thriving:
Take Probiotics. But not just any probiotics.
Taking transient probiotics that pass through and offer temporary relief is just that, temporary. For permanent residency of good bacteria in our guts so that a necessary and diverse microbial population can proliferate, flourish, and keep the bad bugs at bay, we need to take a probiotic with both transient and colonizing “good” flora. And since this can be hard to find with the low-quality, high-supply market, I have two that I like. (#NoAffiliations)
Acids were likely mentioned in high school science, and unless you took your education that route, is likely only discussed in regards to your water, the rain, or your body. In all of these scenarios, acidic is bad, except for when we’re discussing our stomach.
Acid effectively breaks down the proteins and other materials that come in to our stomach through our mouth so that the smaller molecules can be provided to our cells. And since our cells are made daily from the food we ate 30 days ago, nutrition going into our stomachs through our mouths is a necessary element of wellness!
So, before I get off on that tangent, the proper amount of acidity is critical. Too much and we suffer from heartburn and too little we suffer from congested gall bladder and liver, and guess what, still heartburn! So unless you love heartburn, here are a few key notes relevant to maintaining correct stomach acidity:
📛Excessive processed food can contribute to low acidity because these unnatural structures are not easily digested. It’s like trying to eat a lego.
📛How we eat is of utmost importance. That knot we get in our stomach when we are stressed is more than just a feeling, it’s an actual physical pinch and will negatively impact digestion. Ayurveda teaches that we eat calm and that we are attentive to each and every bite. So Netflix binging with popcorn or munching on Doritos while holding your fists rallying for your favorite sports team should not be the rule. Calm environment with gratitude paid to the cells our body will be creating in 30 days using the food we are providing it now. – Now before I go off on the next, let me interject. My life is noisy and with the rare exception, meal times together can be energizing with cats, dogs, kids, and the occasional knock at the door, but we try to keep the calm as much as possible by sitting down for every meal we eat together. Because when we’re energized, our body goes into fight-or-flight and all of our energy goes to our limbs for quick reaction, leaving our food in our digestive tract, sitting and souring. So, for optimal digestion, try to remain calm.
📛The rule of thumb is to stop eating at the first burp. Many don’t even realize we burp while we’re eating, and this is generally because we are inhaling our food rather than allowing the digestive juices in our mouths to begin the digestive process. So, put your fork down between bites or just consciously chew completely before swallowing, and allow one bite to leave your mouth before adding in another. — I have seen this small change significantly impact my clients digestion, so for us DIY-lovers, try this first!!!
📛I may hurt your feelings with this one, but ice is note your friend when it comes to digestion. In Ayurveda, your stomach is known as your digestive fire (or Agni) and with any fire, cold water will put it out very quickly!! As such, drink room temperature or warm water. If you are still not one the wagon with drinking clean water, you may find that you better enjoy warm teas. As an oily person, I tend to enjoy a drop of mint or lemon in warm water. However you take your water, hydration is critical and perhaps the most overlooked of all contributing factors to not being well. So hydrate yourself slowly throughout the day, but for optimal digestion, hydrate yourself with a large glass of warm or room-temperature water 30 minutes before each meal. This lubricates your digestive tract in turn allowing it to perform better, and if low acidity has been an issue, will signal your stomach to turn up the “heat”!